Heartquake
by wordsthinker
Summary: James and Juliet lived together for 3 years. I just want to tell what could had happened during that time. Suliet fic set during Dharma Timess
1. Chapter 1

**N/A: Hey there. Every night before I go to bed, I'm writing a little bit of Suliet. I can't promise how long this fic will be, or if I will update every week, but I do promise that I will read all reviews. I'm just tired of real life and I miss this couple a lot.**

 **I hope you enjoy this short chapter, some of them will be bigger, others will just be like this little one.**

 **English is not my first language, so I'm sorry about any mistakes. I try to do my best, without being to paranoid about it.**

 **If I own Lost, I would have written a spin-off about DharmaVille.**

* * *

 **07/15/1974**

A guy named Phill took them to one of the yellow houses. The security guy didn't look happy about their presence, and didn't take long to leave them alone. He explained them how the cafeteria works and made sure to stare at every single one of them suspiciously. If James wasn't so tired, he would probably had said some good stuff to that moron. Horace had trusted them, and that was enough for that night.

They were assigned for a two bedroom house, with two bunkbed in one of them and a double bed in another.

None of them talked much. Daniel kept whispering none sense from time to time, but neither Juliet or any other person had energy to talk to the physicist. She decided the only thing she needed was a shower and a few minutes of sleep. She knew she wouldn't be able to sleep all night. But anything would be better than nothing at all. Besides, after so many nights at the beach and jumping through time, a bed wouldn't hurt at all.

When she got out of the shower, Jin was already asleep in the upper bed in one of the bunkbeds. In the bottom one, Faraday was staring at the wall in front of him in silence.

"You can have the room for yourself." James voice startled her a little. She opened her mouth to say something she hadn't formed in her mind yet, but he didn't let her say anyways. "We are all too tired to discuss." His voice sounded different. Maybe because he was wispiring, maybe because there was something wrong. She couldn't tell. " We lived in a jungle for a while, but we still gentlemen." He tried to fake a smile but She only nodded her head in response.

However, before she closed the door of what would be her bedroom for long days to come, she asked. "Do you want to talk about it?" He looked at her confused for a second. "Your plan? What do we do next..."

James took a second before answering

"Don't worry about it. I got this under control."

She looked at him, at his eyes, the same way she always did when they were talking. He knew she was reading him, but for the first time, he didn't care. He felt like she could see through his fake smile, his tired eyes. It didn't took long thought. Without any other word or gesture, Juliet closed her bedroom door and hoped she could get any sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**N/A: Sorry about any English mistake. Hope you enjoy it.**

* * *

 **07/16/1974**

Juliet didn't get much sleep during the night. The bed was ok, and she was thankful for having her own room, but she couldn't stop thinking about the island. It was 1974, but she finally got her chance to leave that place. Maybe she should take it. Maybe she should vanish from that world and start a new life. Thirty years from now, she could meet Rachel, and explain to her what happened. Would Rachel believe in her? What about Julian? Juliet would most likely never see him getting married or even finishing high-school.

Her mind kept drafting to weird thoughts. She thought about James and why he jumped. She thought about Jin, and she hoped Sun was off that island getting ready to have her baby. She thought about Jack, another man to add on her list of those who left her behind. She thought about her past, and future, she thought about her past that was now going to happen on the future...

Before the sun started to rise, Juliet get up from her bed and left her room. Maybe she could find something to do. Anything to occupy her head.

The only light in the house was coming from outside, the outdoor lamps that the Dharma Initiative kept on during the whole night. She walked to the living room in silence, where she happily found a bookshelf. Every house in there, had one, she knew that.

Juliet ran her fingers through the covers of the books, remembering of her childhood. For so many years, the books were everything to her. While she was growing up, adventure books were her best companionship. Soon enough they were replaced by biology books, but even after Juliet got her degree as a doctor, she never stopped reading. Maybe it would do her some good. Take her mind anywhere else, but the island. She decided to get The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, just to be distracted for a while. Juliet sat on the couch with her book, and for a few hours forgot about everything else.

Juliet was way past the middle of the story, when she heard a few knocks on the door. She looked through the windows to see the sun shining bright outside. She had been reading for so many hours that she didn't notice how clear the day had become.

The person on the other side of the door knocked again. The blonde woman got up from the couch and opened the front door. It was Amy, the woman they had rescued the day before. Her curly hair was in a bun, and she looked tired (as much as Juliet did), probably for not sleeping much during the night.

"Hi" Juliet tried to fake a sympathy smile. "Is Amy, right?" The woman nodded. "I'm Juliet."

"I know." The brunette said coldly. "Horace told me." The two women locked eyes for a second, sharing something they didn't understand what it was yet. "I brought these things for you and your crew." Amy looked down to a paper box that was standing between herself and Juliet.

"Oh, you didn't need to..."

"You don't have to say anything. Just take it. My husband won't need them anymore." Without looking back up, Amy turned around to leave. However, Juliet's voice stopped her with two brief words.

"Thank you." The blonde meant it. And the brunette knew it.

* * *

Horace met them early in the morning, to explain how the search would work. They would be free to look for their crew, but they would have to respect the truce. Terry, a security guy that looked like a teenager, would go with them, to make sure no one would step into hostile territory. No one complained, after all, it was way more than they could ask for.

No one talked much during the morning. There were way more things to think than to say. So they walked pretending to be lost, hoping that anything would happen and give them a way out of that situation.

"IS ANYBODY HERE?" James yelled out of nothing, making everyone stop. "ROSE? BERNANRD? JOHN?" His voice echoed in space, making a few birds flew away from their hiding spots on the trees.

"Yeah, sure thing, they will answer you, captain" Miles said mocking him.

"Listen, China, if you haven't noticed, it's a jungle. It's easier to hear than see them."

"Whatever you say" Miles said coolly and started walking again.

Juliet waited till Daniel, Jin and Terry followed Miles, and looked at James. His eyes met hers, and he sighed. He knew what she was asking, no words were needed.

"It's a con" James whispered as they followed their group a few steps behind. "They have to believe we are looking for someone."

"Aren't we looking for them?" Juliet asked eyeing him.

"Locke will find us when he gets back"

"What about the others? Rose? Bernard?" She worried, she didn't want to let anyone behind, because she knew exactly how it felt. Juliet had been accomplice of bad enough caused to those people

"They won't be here. If anyone survived, went back to the beach..."

"I think we should stop." Terry voice made Juliet take her eyes off James'. The security guy looked tired, it was too hot outside, and they had been walking for a few hours.

"We ain't stopping here, Munchkin. Keep walking." James said irritated.

"James." Juliet said in her calm voice. "I think Terry is right."

"Rest" Jin said sitting down under a tree. His skin still showed clearly burns, walking under that sun was being a torture to the Korean.

James looked at Juliet and mumbled "Fine".

The blonde lowered herself, her back against the trunk of a tree. At that time, probably the submarine should be leaving the pier. Juliet was not there to see, but she could feel that once again she had missed the chance to leave that island. Two weeks. Just two more weeks.

"Want a granola bar?" Terry offered her, but she didn't take it.

"We've walked a lot today. You need to eat." Juliet was too tired to discuss, so she accepted. She wasn't hungry, perhaps because she's gotten used to the lack of food. She wasn't tired, even thought she didn't get any sleep during the night. The only thing she could feel was the sub leaving the island without her one more time. "Is he always like that?" Juliet didn't realize that Terry was still on her side, looking at her trying to start a conversation.

"I'm sorry?"

"Jim. Your captain, is he always angry?"

"Most of time." she said kindly.

"It must have been rough on you... The shipwreck, I mean." Juliet arched her eyebrow as she looked at the man. He was too young to be on that island, and she felt sorry for him. He most likely had no idea what happened in there, neither what would happen in a few years. "You were looking for old stuff right?"

"Something like that."

"Cool. Maybe one day you can tell me more about it."

"Maybe" Juliet said before putting the granola bar on her mouth. She was not on the mood for small talk.

* * *

James watched from a distance as Terry approached Juliet. He did not like what he saw or heard. Maybe it would be better if he kept an eye on Terry, just to make sure he wasn't getting too close.


	3. Chapter 3

**N/A: Thanks for the reviews. Hope you like this one...**

* * *

 _07/17/1974_

They were having breakfast at the cafeteria. They purposely chose the most hidden table in the environment, but even so, it seemed as if every single Dharma member was following them around with their eyes. James looked around feeling irritated. He and his crew were not part of the circus for everyone to surround them, whispering and casting doubtful glances.

"You ok?" Juliet's voice made him look at her. She looked... The same way she always did and for some reason he couldn't chose a word to describe it.

"Those yahoos keep starin." He looked back to the security guy who had shown them around on their first night there. What was his name again? Pell? Poll? Peel? "We ain't a damn show."

Juliet's eyes followed where James was staring, before facing the man again. "No, but we are pretty good gossip material."

Her answer surprised him for a second. James was starting to find out that Juliet had a sense of humor. A not that bad one.

He smirked before answering. "We have to be good at something, right, sweetheart?"

He watched as Juliet rolled her eyes, but he could see that she was trying to hide a smile. He had done the right thing asking her to stay. Even though that thought didn't make proper sense in his mind...

"No eating?" Jin asked with the best English he could manage. James look at the Korean confused, but the foreign was talking about Juliet. The blonde woman didn't have a plate in front of her, and now that James was thinking about it, he hadn't seen her eating. Not ever.

"I'm not hungry."

"I wouldn't be hungry if our babysitter was hitting on me either." Miles said matter-of-factly.

"Babysitter?" James asked.

"Don't say you didn't notice, Captain. Little Terry, didn't stop looking at Sunshine Barbie yesterday. I was even getting uncomfortable with the granola bar and all."

"Funny, Miles, but there's no way..."

"Don't finish your sentence, James." Juliet interrupted with a serious expression "It might offend me."

"Yeah, Romeo, watch your mouth."

"Miles" _If a look could kill, Miles would be far gone from this world_ , James thought as he noticed how Juliet was staring at the other guy. "Stop with the nicknames." She pronounced the words with no rush, making her point very clear. She wasn't kidding, all men on that table could see on her face how much she meant that.

"We're done with nicknames, Enos." James said teasing the other.

"What's wrong with the nicknames? LaFleur does it all the time!"

"Last time I checked you weren't James." Juliet's expression was blank, and the lack of feelings scared them more than anything else. There was no room for jokes anymore. "Now, if you excuse me, I'm going back to the house."

"Whatever, mom!" Miles answered loud enough to the woman, who was already a few steps away from the table, hear it.

* * *

James sat at the porch in front of the house, trying not to think too much. His head felt like it was about to explode, just like the freighter that was supposed to be their rescue. There was so many things he didn't understand, so many questions that he couldn't find the answers for.

During the first night he had spent with the dharma initiative he had promised himself that the only reason why he jumped out of the chopper was because it was the right thing to do. He, then, stopped wondering what could had happened if he hadn't. He couldn't torture himself with "what if" thoughts. Besides that, it was hard not to think about Kate. Locke said that she had left the island, but could he really believe in that? How could he know for sure that she was alive and safe? If James was honest with himself, he would admit he worried. Not only about Kate, but about the other people that were with him when the flashes started. He worried if Locke would be back in time, and what would happen in two weeks if he didn't. However, honesty was not part of his character. Not for most part of his life, anyways. So he lied to himself, saying that he was just feeling a little bit nervous about starting a new con.

He heard footsteps coming from inside, but he didn't move. He knew who was awake, the only person that walk around in the dark trying not be noticed, but making just enough noise to be heard by whoever was paying close attention. When the front door opened, he wasn't surprised to see Juliet.

"Can't sleep?" He asked loud enough just to make himself noticed. He realized something changed on her expression, maybe Juliet wasn't expecting anyone to be up. Maybe there was so much more than it looked. "You can join me if you want." It took her a second to consider before accepting his invitation. Juliet sat besides James, their back against the yellow wall, his leg spread in front of him, hers crossed underneath her.

She didn't say a word. Neither did he, but any how it felt right. James didn't know what he would say nevertheless. Was he supposed to ask about her day? Ask if she liked her bedroom? Ask how was things with Terry? This last thought bothered James, the last thing he wanted to think about was Terry, the babysitter.

The breeze blew their faces, bringing relief to the hot summer air and causing James to change what he had in mind. Maybe he could ask Juliet what were her thoughts about the Dharma Initiative. Was that their best choice? How long did she think Locke would take to come back? Yet, something stopped him. Who was he to ask her anything? What was he thinking when he asked her to stay? They weren't friends. Were they? They were... something, that's for sure, but what? Part of the same crew. Part of the same crew? Was that enough to give him any rights to ask her anything at all?

Still, something inside of him wanted to share with her what he thought. Juliet was the first person who had listened to him, that day in the raft, and she never judged. She just... was there. For him. She could be a good listener, and James had so much in his mind that would be good to take something out of his system.

The long hours passed before he could find the right words to say it out loud.

"I think they might be alive." James kept facing the yard in front of them, but he knew Juliet was now looking at him. "Rose, Bernard, Claire maybe..." James didn't know how, but he was put in charge. Therefore, he was responsible for all of them. He wouldn't let them die alone in that jungle, he already had enough blood on his hands. If there was any chance they could be alive, he wouldn't give up. "I'm just not sure if they are here" He looked at Juliet them, to see if she knew what he meant by "here". James found her blue eyes deeply concentrated in him. She knew exactly what he meant. "I can't leave the island without them."

"I know" Juliet said a little bit hoarse. It wasn't the answer he was waiting for, but it made him feel... understood. No one ever did that. Juliet not just looked at him, but she could see something else. "You are a good leader, James." She said it louder this time and there was so much certain in her voice that he couldn't doubt her.

James eyes met Juliet's for the first time. He notice a trace of something that he wouldn't be able to name it for a long time. But sitting there on that porch, he realized that he could count on Juliet. And so, he chose to believe in her. He let himself believe he was doing what was right because the smart kick-ass blondie didn't get on that sub. He let himself believe he was a leader, because those big blue eyes were staring at him with no judgement, even thought they were aware of all his past. He let himself believe he was a good leader because it was Juliet who was saying so.


	4. Chapter 4

**_07/18/1974_**

They started walking on the jungle earlier that morning. The sun was getting the best out of them, and it was just best if they could be home before two o'clock. Terry was still responsible for babysitting them. Horace said it was just for protection, but deep down, it was to make sure no one in James' crew would screw up the truce. James was thinking about what would happen if Locke didn't come back in 10 days when Jin called him out.

"Jim!" James looked back and found the Korean staring at Juliet. The blonde woman had one of her hands supporting herself on a tree and her eyes were closed. James approached her, noticing how pale she looked and touched her shoulder lightly. She didn't respond to his touch, instead, she lowered herself and sat down with her eyes still closed.

"Boss, everything alright?" Miles had stopped walking getting Terry's attention. As soon as the security guy saw Juliet, he rushed his steps to approach her.

"Hold your horses, old T. She needs some space." James stopped the security guy to get any closer from Juliet. He didn't understand why he was so protective over her. "I will keep an eye on her as the rest of you keep walking. Faster we finish, faster we all can go rest."

"But she…" Terry tried to argue.

"You heard our capitan." Miles said putting a hand on Terry's shoulder preventing him to do anything that was against James' words. "We keep walking."

Miles Terry and Daniel -who hadn't said a word but stared at the situation- went back walking on silence.

"Juliet no food." Jin try to said as he made a few gestures with his hands.

"You saying she's not eating?" the Korean nodded his head in agreement. "Thanks, Jin. I will keep an eye on her." James said as he sat beside Juliet.

He waited until Jin was out of sight, and looked at the woman properly. She had her elbows resting on her knees, and her face was buried on her hands. James cautiously took a few hair strands out of her eyes, as he spoke quietly.

"Running out of your superpowers Emma Frost?"

James could swear he saw a little smirk on Juliet's face. But she didn't have strength enough to look at him. She looked tired, more tired than when they were running in the jungle, jumping through time and trying not to get killed. How hadn't he noticed before? Now that he was thinking about it, Juliet usually skipped breakfast on the cafeteria, and she never joined them for dinner. "Why you ain't eating?" James tried not to sound as worry as he was. He was starting to know Juliet better, and as far as he knew her, she wouldn't want anyone getting too close. _She didn't need a babysitter._ He made a quietly note to remind Terry of that next time he saw the guy. "You sleeping at least?" No she wasn't because they stayed awake together on the porch until early in the morning, then he would go to bed before the sun rises, and every day when he woke up Juliet was ready to go to another search in the jungle. "Why you doing this to yourself?"He asked in a whisper. He was sure Juliet wasn't going to answer him, but that question would have to be answered one day or another. There was so much more than it met the eyes... James took an apple out of his pocket he had stole from the cafeteria early. "Here." She looked at him, refusing to accept the apple. For the first time, he saw something else behind her eyes. Juliet was confused, probably not understanding why he was being so nice to her (and he couldn't blame her for it since most of the time he had been an ass with pretty much everyone). However, if he looked properly he could see… It was even harder to admit that, and he couldn't understand why he was thinking these stuff, but he could see… He could see how broken she was. _It's probably just the heat,_ he tried to convince himself. Next time he started talking, the words jumped out of his mouth in one breath. "Look Juliet I don't know a damn thing about your life, but I know you are not trying to give up on it. This situation sucks for all of us and" he wanted to say that he needs her but the words just didn't come out of his mouth. "You have to take care of yourself, ok? I ain't spend the next ten days sitting alone on that porch talking with myself like a crazy dude that has travelled through time." She grinned for one second, staring at him as if it was a secret that anyone else could see. "I promise you this apple is way better than the babysitter granola bar."

Juliet eyed him blank for one second and even if was brief, James felt like she could read exactly what was going through his mind. Finally, she took the apple and gave one bite.

James breathed in relief. Each day he spent with Juliet, more and more questions would come up on his mind. He used to gain his life reading women, but with her was different. He could never name it what she was thinking or feeling. She was a puzzle that he wasn't sure if he wanted to decipher.

They stayed in silence for a long time. Both of them looking ahead, but with their minds far gone from that place. If James stopped to think about, it was a little bit weird how comfortable could be when they were in silence together. He spent most of his life by himself, and he thought it was fine with that. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe he was wrong about so many things…

He was definitely wrong about Kate, for instance. For one damn moment, he could picture both of them making whatever their relationship was working out. The next one, she was all over Jack-Ass, planning on leave this island at whatever it takes cost. Now, he was stuck on 1974 depending on Kate to change her mind and come back for him. The thought of it made him chuckle.

"When Locke first came with the idea of bringing them back I used to think if I would listen to Mr. Clean if he showed up at my door asking me to come back to this damn island to save whoever was left behind." One more time, the words escaped his mouth without his permission. That would be an habit for the following months, whenever he was with Juliet he just talk. And the best part was that she would listen to him, attentively, every single time. "I don't think Sawyer would. Even if this place wasn't a bad choice for who…" had killed someone. Those last three words stuck on his throat and made him feel sick. His past wasn't important anymore. And more than that, he didn't want Juliet to think about him as a murder. She knew he had killed before, she had seen it with her own eyes, few seconds after herself had killed a man to save his life. So what was the matter of saying out loud that he had killed before the island? Even thought he didn't want to admit, deep down James knew the difference. Duckett was an innocent men, unharmed, who was shot in the back.

Trying to run away from that thoughts, James looked back at Juliet and found two big blue eyes watching him carefully. Did she know he had killed someone? There was something on the way she faced him that he just couldn't put his finger on it.

"Good thing you are not Sawyer anymore." Juliet voice was a little bit hoarse, but she made sure it was clear enough for him to hear. Even thought they hadn't knew each other for long, James knew she wasn't the kind of person who just say things. She meant every word that came out of her mouth.

"How can you be sure?"

"I can't." She said matter-of-factly before looking away.

For a very long time, James had con himself saying that he had become the human being he most hated in the whole world. He didn't just used the name Sawyer, he was Sawyer in all possible ways. Could he changed then? When the plane crashed, and a new society had to be formed, Sawyer was everything James was. It was Sawyer who survived with a bullet on his shoulder after the raft was blown up by the other, it was Sawyer who had stolen the guns and declared himself the new sherif, it was Sawyer who had fallen in love for Kate, and it was definitely Sawyer who had jumped out of that chopper. However, by the time he swam back to the beach, it wasn't Sawyer who found a drunk Juliet hopeless as the freighter was swallowed by smoke. Was it Sawyer, then, who had hope that Kate would be back for them? Because James LaFleur didn't have time or energy to brood about freckles. Would Kate love James if she had the chance to know him? Maybe not. Kate liked the con man, the selfish arrogant son of a bitch who was good enough to have sex but not to stay with until the day was bright.

"Kate knows, James. Kate knows you." Juliet voice made him stop wondering for a while. He wasn't sure what was her point with those words.

"I don't think you know a lot about women, blondie." He said ironically as a fact. Kate had the chance to know him, but she chose not to take it. He knew that now.

"I don't think you know a lot about love, James."


End file.
